Teaching Children About Emotional Intelligence

As I became an adult and faced great challenges in life, I realized that most of the difficulties we encounter as human beings stem from how we handle our emotions. It struck me—how is it possible that no one ever taught me anything about emotions? I never understood why I reacted the way I did in certain situations. This realization sparked a deep urge within me to ensure that my children learn these essential skills. I wanted to teach them how to recognize the emotions that arise within them and how to regulate different emotions effectively.

In our school, education goes beyond reading, writing, and math. We focus on emotional intelligence as a core part of our curriculum because we believe that understanding emotions, building relationships, and developing resilience are just as important as academic knowledge. When children learn how to navigate their emotions and interact with others in a healthy way, they become more confident, empathetic, and capable individuals.

Why Emotional Intelligence Matters

Emotional intelligence is the foundation of strong communication, conflict resolution, self-awareness, and resilience. Psychologist Daniel Goleman, who popularized the concept of emotional intelligence, states, "If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far."

By helping children understand and express their emotions, they develop skills that will serve them throughout their lives. In our school, we integrate emotional learning into daily activities, allowing children to experience and practice these skills in a natural and meaningful way.

We aim to help children:

• Recognize and name their emotions

• Express themselves in a healthy and constructive manner

• Develop empathy and understand other people's feelings

• Resolve conflicts through communication rather than frustration

• Build resilience and adapt to challenges

• Develop a strong sense of self-awareness and self-worth

• Learn how to regulate different emotions effectively

Dr. Marc Brackett, founder of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, emphasizes the significance of teaching these skills early: "Children who learn to understand and regulate their emotions are better equipped to handle stress, build strong relationships, and succeed academically and socially."

How We Teach Emotional Intelligence

We start by doing hands-on activities. In the first week, when we introduce emotions, we dedicate each day to a different emotion. For example, on the day we explored calmness, the children each built their own calming bottle using water mixed with oil, creating something like a lava lamp. They could shake it and watch the oil pieces slowly join together, helping them visualize the process of calming down. That same day, we created a calming corner in the school, a cozy space where children could go to self-regulate when they felt overwhelmed. At first, the teacher would recognize when a child was feeling frustrated or upset and gently suggest they take a break in the calming corner. However, as the week progressed, children started going there on their own whenever they felt they needed a moment to reset. I even noticed the impact on my own son—at home, when he got angry, he would find a quiet place to sit with his emotions until they passed, rather than letting them out on his sister.

Another day focused on friendship. Each child created their own card, and all the other children wrote on it what they loved about that child. The kids cherished these cards, and many of them still hold onto them today as a reminder of their friends' appreciation and kindness.

On gratitude day, the children wrote down what they were grateful for. We discussed how appreciating the small things in life helps us feel happier and more connected. Some children chose to share their gratitude lists, and it was heartwarming to hear what they valued most—whether it was family, friends, nature, or even simple things like a warm meal or their pet. Studies have shown that practicing gratitude can improve mental well-being.

1. Morning Circle: A Safe Space for Expression

Each morning, we start the day with a morning circle, where children share how they feel. We use visual emotion charts to help younger kids express their emotions, and older kids are encouraged to articulate their feelings in words. This practice helps normalize discussing emotions and creates a supportive community where everyone feels heard.

2. Storytelling and Role-Playing

We use stories and role-playing to teach emotional intelligence. Through carefully chosen books and guided discussions, children explore different emotions, perspectives, and ways to handle challenges. Role-playing scenarios—such as how to express frustration in a healthy way or how to support a friend—help kids practice real-life social skills.

3. Conflict Resolution Through Communication

Conflicts naturally arise in any group of children, and we use these moments as learning opportunities. Instead of simply telling children to "say sorry," we guide them through a process of active listening and expressing their feelings. We encourage phrases like:

• "I felt sad when you took my toy because I was still using it."

• "I understand that you’re upset, let’s find a way to fix this together."

By teaching children to articulate their feelings and listen to others, we help them build strong, healthy relationships.

4. Learning from Nature

Nature is an incredible teacher of emotional resilience and self-regulation. Observing the changing seasons, the patience of growing plants, or the calmness of a river helps children connect emotions to the world around them. When children face challenges in outdoor activities—like building a shelter or climbing a tree—they learn persistence, problem-solving, and self-confidence.

The Impact on Our Students

Since we’ve integrated emotional intelligence learning into our curriculum, we’ve seen remarkable transformations. Children who once struggled with frustration now take deep breaths before reacting. Friendships have grown stronger because children are learning to listen and empathize. Kids have developed an incredible sense of self-awareness, and many express their emotions more freely and confidently.

Final Thoughts

Teaching emotional intelligence is not just about having specific lessons—it’s about creating an environment where children feel safe to express themselves, where emotions are valued, and where every challenge becomes an opportunity for growth. As Dr. John Gottman, a leading researcher in child psychology, states, "Children learn about emotions when we help them name what they feel and guide them through their emotional experiences with empathy and support."

By making emotional learning a daily practice, we are raising children who are not only knowledgeable but also kind, resilient, and deeply in tune with themselves and others.